Memories Forgotten
by ShadowMist
Summary: Aya is really pissed off about something and no one knows why but Yohji seems to be the main target of the anger.
1. Mystery of Anger

1.1 Memories Forgotten: Mystery of Anger  
  
1.1.1  
  
Archive: Please do NOT.  
  
Warning: Angst  
  
Disclaimer: They're mine I tells ya, mine! And if you believe that then I know this really nice place with padded walls you just *have* to visit.  
  
Author's Notes: ::blah:: = thoughts  
  
~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ = scene change and/or time passage  
  
For further author's notes please see the end of the fic.  
  
One more thing, a very special thanks to my two wonderful betas: Dori and Hikaru no Miko. Thank you guys so much and sorry I was such a bother.  
  
  
  
Memories Forgotten  
  
Part One: Mystery of Anger  
  
  
  
  
  
Yohji stepped into the shower stall still half asleep. It took him three tries (since he refused to open his eyes) before his hand finally connected with a water knob. Without bothering to see which one it was he twisted, turning the water on. Suddenly, he was yelping, jumping away from the frigid spray. He glared at the knob he'd turned, a little more awake now, and realized it had been the cold water he had turned on.  
  
::Sheesh, I guess I'm lucky it wasn't the hot water:: He reached out and turned on the hot water. When the water was a more humane temperature he stepped back in to the spray, sighing as the warm water pounded down on him. He turned to let the water fall on his back and suddenly he was yelping again, pressing himself against the shower wall and away from the water as fire seemed to explode along his back and shoulder at the water's contact. He glared balefully at the water knobs, wondering what on earth he had touched *this* time. After a few minutes he decided *he* hadn't done anything. He turned to glare at his own body.  
  
His eyes widened in alarm as he got his first look at what had caused the pain. A purple so dark it was almost black on his left shoulder was the biggest, ugliest bruise he had ever seen. Gently he touched it, then winced. It hurt! And there seemed to be blood on it. Frowning, he stepped back into the spray of the shower. He cleaned it of all the encrusted blood, wincing as he felt the water fall in a stinging spray all up and down his back. He promised himself he'd check *that* out as soon as he was done.  
  
After what had to be the shortest shower in history he stood, his back to the large mirror, staring at the four long, thin, red stripes that ran down his back. Slowly, he began to grin. He looked down at his shoulder again and the grin grew wider as he confirmed that, yes, the ragged edge of the wound on the bruise *could* have come from a human bite.  
  
::Yohji, you dog. You obviously drove some poor, young thing wild last night.:: Grinning, and suddenly in a much better mood, Yohji quickly cleaned and sterilized the wound on his shoulder. He placed a bandage on it then dressed.  
  
A few minutes later, whistling merrily, he made his way down into the shop. Omi was on the phone taking down what looked to be a rather large order. Ken was handling the cash register as Aya stood in one corner, quietly and efficiently working on a flower arrangement that seemed to include whin, belladonna and burdock. (1)  
  
"Ohayo, Yohji-kun. You seem to be in a good mood this morning," Omi said as he hung up the phone.  
  
"You're awake! And in a good mood! And it's not even noon yet!" Ken said, clutching at his heart as if he were having a heart attack.  
  
"Well, Ken-ken, if you'd had a night like mine you'd be in a good mood too." Yohji said, grinning.  
  
"Did you have a good time last night, Yohji-kun?" Omi asked innocently.  
  
"You don't know the half of it, bishounen. I had a *great* time. Found myself a real wildcat. I can't remember all that much about her but she must have been a real sex fiend. Left marks all up and down my -"  
  
"Yohji!" Ken reached over and covered Omi's ears, shooting Yohji an outraged look.  
  
"-back." Yohji finished his sentence then frowned at Ken. "What did you think I was going to say? Oi, what kind of pervert do you think I am?"  
  
"The kind of pervert that would speak of such things in front of a child."  
  
"I am not a child!"  
  
"I am not a pervert! Just because you never think about anything other than -"  
  
"ENOUGH! You are here to work. So...WORK." The anger evident in Aya's tone made all three of them wince. Shooting daggers at each other with their eyes Ken and Yohji went their separate ways leaving a pouting Omi to tend the register.  
  
"I am not a child."  
  
  
  
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"I'm sure she was tall." Yohji was saying again, later. "With soft skin that tasted sweet and light. I'm sure of it. She must have had sultry eyes and -"  
  
"Would you put a sock in it already?" Ken interrupted. "You don't even know her name!"  
  
"Jealous, are we, Ken-ken?" Yohji asked in a too sweet tone.  
  
"Of what? Some woman you dreamed up? You don't even remember what she looked like."  
  
"Maybe my mind doesn't but my body sure does."  
  
"Yohji, shut UP." Aya said, violet eyes flashing as he glared murderously at the blonde. "Go into the back room and finish the inventory. Ken, these arrangements are ready for delivery."  
  
Yohji, who'd been about to continue going on about his mystery woman, shut his mouth with a loud snap. Pushing away from the counter where he'd been leaning, doing nothing, he shrugged and went, whistling all the while.  
  
Ken stomped across the flower shop, snatching the delivery list off the wall. "Fine. I'll go. Anything to get away from him." He stalked out of the shop, slamming the door behind him.  
  
  
  
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A couple of hours later, tired of doing inventory, Yohji walked back into the shop. It was empty of all except Aya.  
  
"Hey, where'd Omi go?"  
  
Aya looked up from what he was doing to glare at him, dark eyes seeming to command him to drop dead where he stood.  
  
"Hey, what'd I do?" Yohji asked, defensively, completely taken aback at the anger in the violet eyes.  
  
Aya's glare grew darker before he pointedly turned away, shoulders and back stiff. Yohji frowned at him, curious. Then he shrugged and looked around, trying to find some clue that would tell him where the kid had gotten to. The bell above the door suddenly rang and the object of his quest walked in, several bags of takeout weighing down his arms.  
  
"I'm back and I have lunch," Omi called cheerfully.  
  
"Great. I'm starved." Yohji immediately moved to follow Omi through the back door that lead into the rest of the house. "Hey, Aya, you coming?"  
  
He got no response.  
  
"A-ya? Did you hear me? Are you coming?"  
  
"Not. Hungry." The cold voice said in clipped tones and Yohji frowned, coming back into the shop. Aya stood before one of the work tables, his back to him, the sitting stool pushed to one side, unused. Yohji was about to question him again when he stopped, something about the way Aya was moving, had been moving all morning, struck him as odd. He focused on Aya, trying to pinpoint what was different. Arms moved slowly as Aya worked on an arrangement of long stemmed white roses.(2) Aya's movements were controlled and elegant as always, each action performed with the maximum efficiency in mind in a slow, easy flow. Slow. That was it.  
  
"Hey, Aya, is something wrong? You're moving kind of stiffly." Aya froze, body going visibly tense at the sound of his voice.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Are you sure? I mean-"  
  
"Leave me be, Yohji." There was a dark undercurrent of threat to the voice that made Yohji pause. He stood there, watching Aya who still stood with his back to him, hands now firmly planted before him, clenched on the table. Yohji noticed that one of Aya's fists had inadvertently crushed down on one of the roses, long thorns digging into pale flesh. He gave a small gasp and was about to step forward when Aya spoke again. "Yoh-ji."  
  
Just that, one word, nothing more, but it caused him to pause. He looked at the stiff back, at the clenched hands. ::What did I do?:: Yohji wondered, a frown marring his face. After a minute he shrugged and gave an internal sigh. ::Probably nothing. He must be in one of *those* moods again.::  
  
"Okay, Aya. We'll save you some. You can have it later if you want." No response but then again, he hadn't really expected one. He shrugged again and went to join Omi and the food in the kitchen.  
  
  
  
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Yohji moved about the room, slowly inspecting the floral displays for any wilting that would mean it would have to be replaced. Omi had gone off to finish up some homework that was due the next day and Ken had already taken off for his afternoon game with the kids. As he moved near Aya a faint scent tickled his nose and his memory. Stepping closer he took a deeper sniff. ::Lavender. Lavender. Where have I smelled that before? Aya. I wanted to ask Aya something about lavender. But what?::  
  
"Oi, Aya. Is that lavender you're wearing?" Aya immediately stiffened. "I think I meant to ask you something about lavender but I can't remember what or why? Do you have any idea?" At his words Aya went completely pale, all color drained right out of him.  
  
"Hey, Aya, you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"But you've gone all white. Is something wrong?" Yohji reached out a hand, concerned, afraid that at any moment Aya would fall away in a faint. Aya slapped his hand away.  
  
"Leave me alone. Go bother someone else with your stupid questions."  
  
"Sheesh. I was just making conversation. Bite a guy's head off why don't you?"  
  
"Fine. If you won't let me get any work done you can tend the shop yourself." Aya stalked away.  
  
"What is his problem today?" Yohji asked, exasperated. ::Yes, Aya is always moody. Yes, Aya is always a pain in the a-- but today he's worse than usual.:: Yohji glared at the closed door through which Aya had disappeared. Then he shrugged and returned to pretending to work. When he realized that he was all alone and that that meant nobody would pester him if he didn't work he grinned and simply lounged against the counter until it was time to close.  
  
  
  
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Yohji gave himself one last glance in the mirror. The brown leather pants he wore were like a second skin, hanging low on his hips while the loose, dark vest he had on barely covered anything. ::Perfect.::  
  
After having had to close the shop up on his own he had decided he would reward himself with another night of clubbing. Now, dressed and ready, he winked at his reflection before he gathered up his keys and jacket.  
  
"Are you going out tonight, Yohji-kun?" A young voice greeted him as he stepped out into the darkened hallway.  
  
"Of course, bishounen. I can't deny the ladies my presence now can I? They might riot."  
  
"But I thought you were besotted by the wildcat you kept brining up earlier." Omi teased lightly.  
  
"I am but I doubt I'm going to find her here. I'll be going to the same club I went to yesterday. Maybe, if I run across her, I'll recognize her or she'll recognize me. Either way, I plan to have fun looking." Yohji winked at him. Omi shook his head and laughed. Yohji grinned.  
  
"I'll see you later, Omi. Don't stay up too late, okay?"  
  
"Ja, Yohji-kun. I won't." Omi waved goodbye. Yohji put on his coat and made his way down the stairs. Omi entered his own room.  
  
As the door closed behind the younger man Aya took a step into the hallway, away from the shadows which had hid him from the other two. He glared down at the door through which Yohji had disappeared then moved to his own room, fists clenched at his sides.  
  
  
  
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Yohji walked into the kitchen the next morning, eyes half closed in deference to his hangover and the pounding headache that made it feel like the entire cast of Riverdance was tapping away the finale inside his head. Wincing at the morning light streaming in through a window he was able to distinguish a slight figure moving about the kitchen, the smell of cooking eggs and frying bacon making his poor stomach queasy.  
  
"Morning, Aya." He said, guessing.  
  
Aya raised his head, startled, eyes wide. "Yohji!"  
  
"Shh, not so loud." Yohji clutched at his head. Blinded by the hangover he reached out, searching for the coffee pot. Instead, his hand accidentally landed on Aya's arm. Aya hissed as if in pain and pulled away, stepping out of his reach. Yohji frowned at him.  
  
"Something wrong with your arms, Aya? I've noticed you've been rather protective of them lately."  
  
"They're fine."  
  
Yohji looked at him. Aya was standing rather stiffly, arms close to his body as if he was afraid of any accidental jarring, the long sleeves of the shirt looking a bit bulky as if Aya had padding on underneath. He shrugged, figuring it was none of his business. Besides, a man with a hangover was not qualified to do any sort of detective work until he had had at least three cups of coffee and an entire bottle of aspirin. Ignoring the mystery that was Aya he reached again for the coffee pot and this time actually managed to capture his goal.  
  
The others came down to breakfast and Yohji greeted them with a tired smile. Ken raised an eyebrow at Aya before shrugging and sitting down next to Yohji. Yohji frowned, wondering what the look was for. He looked over at Aya and suddenly realized something. Aya was sitting in the wrong seat. Okay, so technically there were six chairs and one could sit anywhere one pleased but, after all this time of living together, they had all sort of developed spots that they thought of as their own. Like that ledge in front of the large window in the living room that Aya always sat at when reading, or the long couch Yohji almost always claimed so he could spread out on when watching TV. Spots they unconsciously thought of as theirs. And when sitting down for a meal Ken and Omi always sat next to each other in the chairs closest to the hallway while he and Aya always ended up taking the seats on the other side, closest together. Yohji had once joked that it was so the older and wiser could gang up on the two younger bishounens. Today, perhaps accidentally, Aya was sitting next to Omi, in the spot furthest from Yohji: Ken's usual spot.  
  
Yohji frowned and tilted his head so he could look at Aya more closely. As if sensing his gaze Aya looked up from his plate. Seeing Yohji watching him Aya's eyes narrowed and darkened in anger. Yohji realized that he had been staring and smiled in apology. Aya's glare hardened and he abruptly stood. Taking his plate of barely touched food he placed it in the sink then went to the door that led into the flower shop. Yohji blinked, confused once again at almost constant anger Aya was displaying lately.  
  
"Ken, I expect you in the shop in ten minutes."  
  
"What?" Ken asked, startled, as he looked at Aya.  
  
"You're to open the shop with me." Aya told him.  
  
"What? But why? You and Yohji are supposed to open the shop today."  
  
"I changed the schedule. You and I will open. Yohji will close along with Omi."  
  
"But I promised the kids I'd teach them some new tricks this morning!"  
  
"Hey, why didn't you say something earlier? I could have stayed out longer last night and even stayed in bed later. Plus, I have to go out again tonight. I have to search for my wildcat!"  
  
Aya didn't acknowledge Yohji, instead he glared at Ken. "Enough. It is set. Omi, you will be late for school. Ken, I expect you in the shop in ten minutes. Yohji, clean up the kitchen."  
  
Ken and Yohji were left fuming as Aya went through the door to begin getting the shop ready for opening.  
  
"Who died and made him emperor?"  
  
  
  
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"Damn that Aya. Always thinking he can boss everyone around. What is his problem lately? I mean, yes Aya is always a pain in the butt and yes, he is always angry about something or other but for the past two days he's been even worse than usual. Maybe its all those long sleeved shirts he wears. How he can stand those things in this heat is beyond me." Yohji frowned as he placed another plate to dry in the rack. "Come to think of it I don't think I've seen him in short sleeves for a couple of days. Who in their right mind wears long sleeves in this heat?"  
  
Yohji took a rag and wiped down the table and counter. "Maybe it is just the heat that is making our oh, so esteemed leader, so irritable lately. But then why not just wear short sleeves? And why change the schedule all of a sudden and not warn anyone? You'd almost think he didn't want to be alone in the same room with me." Yohji snorted at the thought and took out the broom so he could begin sweeping the kitchen floor.  
  
"Well, I guess Aya will be Aya. Hmmm, I wonder if I'll have any luck finding my wildcat tonight? There was no one in the bar last night that could have been her. I mean there was not one single girl hot enough or wild enough to have left the marks on my body that I found. No, this chick must be something pretty special. I can feel it." Yohji grinned as he absentmindedly lifted up the corner of the rug and swept all the dirt under it. "I wish I could remember something about her though besides the fact that she rocked my world. What did she look like? What was her name? And why can't I remember what must have been one hell of a hot night?"  
  
A flash of pale skin and dark eyes suddenly came to him. Yohji stilled. Pale skin. Dark eyes. He tried to bring the memory back but it was gone, not even enough to tell what color the eyes had been only an impression of heat emanating from them. Yohji sighed and decided, since he had a couple of hours before he would have to be in the shop, he might as well take a nap.  
  
  
  
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"Yohji, shove it already."  
  
"Oi, Ken-ken needs a girlfriend. Jealous, Ken?"  
  
"Okay. That's it. Come here you. I'm going to beat you into being quiet." Ken, frustrated, closed the soccer magazine he'd been trying to read, without success, ever since Yohji had wandered into the mission room after his shift with Omi, and reached for the tall blonde. Yohji easily danced out of his reach.  
  
"You and what army?" Yohji teased.  
  
"The army of my fists. Come here!"  
  
"Why, Ken-ken. I didn't know you were like that." Yohji winked suggestively at him, posing his long body against the doorframe. Ken blushed as he realized what Yohji was implying.  
  
"You-! Agh!" Ken lunged at Yohji. Yohji laughed and easily evaded him by moving to the other side of the couch, keeping it between them. Ken lunged again but tripped and landed face down across the couch. Yohji laughed and tousled his hair before moving out of range again. Ken growled and threw himself off the couch after him. Yohji again danced out of reach.  
  
Ken somehow managed to cut him off from the safety of the couch but with a grin Yohji turned and headed for the door. He spotted Aya a bit too late and tried to stop himself but, his headlong flight combined with Ken's sudden pounce, sent him hurtling forward, straight into him.  
  
Yohji grabbed onto Aya's arms to keep himself from falling. Aya made a strange sound in the back of his throat as if he were in pain and roughly shoved Yohji away. Yohji, off balance, fell backward, only Ken's, catching him keeping him from falling.  
  
"Ow! Aya!" Yohji hissed, his hand going up to his the shoulder that Aya had pressed on when he had shoved him off. Aya's eyes narrowed at his reaction.  
  
"What's wrong with your shoulder?" Ken asked, still holding him upright. Yohji climbed to his feet and smiled at both Ken and Aya.  
  
"Oh, nothing. Just another of my wildcat's mementos." Yohji winked at Aya.  
  
"Idiot." Aya spat the word at him before angrily stomping down the hall and into the kitchen leaving Yohji and Ken staring after him. They looked at one another and shrugged.  
  
Ken walked back into the mission room and plopped himself back down on the couch, his magazine open on his lap once more.  
  
"What's gotten into him lately?" Yohji followed Ken back inside. He reached for the remote control and flicked the TV on as he took a seat next to Ken.  
  
"Eh, you know Aya." Ken shrugged unconcerned and turned a page in his magazine.  
  
Yohji shrugged also and changed the channel, looking for something to watch.  
  
"Oh, by the way," Ken suddenly turned and hit him over the head with the magazine.  
  
"Hey!" Yohji cried, startled, and pushed him away, glaring at him playfully.  
  
Ken grinned unrepentantly. "That was for earlier."  
  
Yohji shook his head and laughed, turning back to the television. Ken returned to his magazine, a small smile on his lips.  
  
Yohji pretended to concentrate on the TV program. A few minutes later, when Ken had become engrossed in some article or other he casually reached over and hit him on the back of his head with an open hand.  
  
"Ow! Yohji!"  
  
  
  
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"Ne, Omi, you need to hit it with the side of your foot. The side, not the front. There, see, great! You've got it."  
  
"Okay, now something a little more difficult. I want to see you do a head butt." Ken threw the ball at Omi. Omi stood there and let the ball come to him. At the last instant he tried to hit it but it was more like the ball ended up hitting him.  
  
"Itte!" He rubbed his head ruefully.  
  
"No, no. You're supposed to hit the ball not let *it* hit you."  
  
Aya paused in his work to watch, a small smile playing across his lips as he watched the two younger members of Weiss. Ken threw the ball again and this time Omi missed it completely nearly hitting his head on one of the hanging pots in the shop. Aya bit his lip to keep from laughing as Omi pouted down at a hysterically laughing Ken.  
  
Yohji, drawn by the sound of laughter, peeked into the room. Seeing what was going on he grinned and leaned up against the doorjamb, watching. Ken got himself under control and tried again. Again Omi missed. Yohji laughed out loud and looked over to Aya who, sensing his presence, looked up. Their eyes met and locked for a second then Aya looked away, scowling, the smile that had been on his lip but a moment before vanished.  
  
"Enough. You'll damage one of the plants. Take it outside or get to work." Aya said icily before resuming his own work.  
  
Ken and Omi shared a confused glance. They turned as one and looked at Aya, then Yohji, and then Aya again.  
  
Yohji sighed and stepped into the shop. He reached to get his apron off the hook and put it on.  
  
Ken frowned at the two oldest members of Weiss. Then turned back to share another confused look with Omi. Sighing, he put the ball away and moved to retrieve his own apron.  
  
  
  
Much later, when only Yohji and Aya were in the shop, Omi's shift over and Ken out delivering arrangements, Yohji decided to breach the topic of Aya's recent attitude.  
  
"Hey, Aya. You shouldn't be so hard on the kids. They were just having fun. You don't have to be such a hardass all the time."  
  
"Shut up, Yohji."  
  
"Man, what is your problem lately?"  
  
"I said shut up."  
  
Yohji huffed an angry breath and glared at him. Aya ignored him and moved off to a different corner of the flower shop, away from Yohji.  
  
For the next couple of hours the scene remained thus, Aya working in the corner of the shop quieter than usual and Yohji trying to figure the man out. At last Yohji sighed, giving up and looked around for something to do. He picked up the watering can and began to go about the shop, half- heartedly watering any plants that look like they might benefit from his meager attentions. As he drew closer to the corner where Aya was working he saw the red head's back stiffening. As he drew closer still the pale hands paused in their work. When he moved behind Aya to get at the red columbines and syringas he saw the hands clench and Aya's back go rigid. (3) Yohji frowned.  
  
"Aya, is something wrong?" He reached out a hand but Aya pulled away before he could touch him.  
  
"Nothing." Yohji, stubborn, reached forward again, intent on touching the tensed back. Aya abruptly stood, stepping away, effectively sliding out of range. He looked up at Yohji then quickly away again.  
  
"I need to check the green house." Before Yohji could say anything Aya squeezed between the table and wall so that he didn't have to move past Yohji, and left. Yohji was left staring after him. He looked down at the workbench. Aya was usually anal about putting things away in their proper places less someone accidentally hurt themselves. He was so anal about it in fact that he sometimes put things away before others were done using them. Yohji frowned. Strewn across the worktable where Aya had been working several flowers lay scattered along with the tools needed in preparing them for arrangements. He looked back to where Aya had disappeared through the back door. Still frowning he quietly picked up the flowers and tools and put them away in their places.  
  
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Omi and Ken came back into the shop to find Yohji looking pensive, absent- mindedly twirling the flower Aya had crushed between his fingers.  
  
"Hiya, Yohji-kun. Is something wrong?" Yohji looked up startled at the voice, then smiled.  
  
"No, nothing. At least nothing that I know of. Hey, Omi, have you noticed anything different about Aya lately?"  
  
"No. Why? How?"  
  
"I don't know. He seems quieter. Skittish almost. Angrier than usual."  
  
"Now that you mention it... I think so but only..." Omi stopped and looked away, blushing slightly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"What Omi is too polite to say is that Aya seems that way only around you. Did you two have another fight or something?"  
  
Yohji shook his head no to the question. "Only around me? Are you sure?"  
  
"Yup. Remember yesterday? When I was trying to teach Omi how to play soccer? Aya was actually smiling. Until you walked in that is. Then I could almost feel the temperature drop. What did you do this time?"  
  
"I didn't do anything! At least, not that I know of."  
  
Yohji frowned thoughtfully and left the shop, leaving the two younger members to close up. He walked up the stairs, staring moodily at the flower he had unconsciously brought up with him. At the top of the stairs he paused. Straight ahead of him, just down the hallway, he could see Aya's room. The door was closed. He looked at it a moment, frowning. ::Is it true? Is Aya angry at me. But what did I do? I don't remember doing anything different than I usually do. How did I make him angry? What did I do?::  
  
Still frowning he opened his own door. With one last glance towards the other door he stepped in and locked the door behind himself.  
  
  
  
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"Hey, Aya, look. I bought some of those pastries that you really like from down the corner." ::And they cost me an arm and a leg so you better appreciate it.:: "Do you want one?"  
  
"No."  
  
"No? But you love these. I bought them especially for you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"W-why? Ahhh... I... just did. Look, I found your favorite: strawberry!" ::Actually, I had to promise the bakery girl a date so she'd make them. They were out of strawberry.::  
  
"No."  
  
"But -"  
  
"I said no." Aya stood up, and giving Yohji one last glare, left the kitchen. Yohji looked down at the pastries. "Now what. No one but Aya likes these things."  
  
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Aya walked into the Koneko then paused as he saw Yohji. Aya glanced at the schedule with a frown and confirmed that yes, this was supposed to be *his* shift along with Ken. Not Yohji.  
  
"Look." Yohji said a bit nervously seeing the confused and hostile stare Aya was giving him. "Why don't you go relax or do something else? I'll take your shift today."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just because."  
  
"Forget it, Yohji. I am not covering your shift tomorrow night."  
  
"That's not why I'm doing this."  
  
"Then why?"  
  
"Can't I just do something nice for you for a change."  
  
"How come you never do stuff like this for me?" Ken asked.  
  
"Oh, shut up, Ken. Look Aya, I'm just trying to be nice, okay?"  
  
Aya just glared at him. Ken looked from one to the other. "Well, if you both insist on working then there's no need for me to be here! Ja ne!" Ken quickly grabbed the soccer ball he always kept under the counter and ran out the door, not even bothering to take his apron off as he made his getaway.  
  
"Hey! Come back here you shrimp! I am *not* covering your shift! Ken! Ken-ken!!!"  
  
Too late. The soccer player had already disappeared down the street. Aya stiffly moved to the rack where the aprons where kept and pulled on his own. Yohji sighed and looked over at Aya. Aya ignored him. The redhead moved over to the work bench furthes away and set to work an odd arrangement of whin and love-in-a-mists. (4)  
  
  
  
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Aya paused in the doorway of the mission room as he saw Yohji lying across the couch with a small frown on his face as he watched television. Yohji looked up, spotting him. He immediately sat up. "Aya! Hey, did you want to watch the TV? I'll change the channel if you like, I'm not really watching anything, I'm just sort of flipping channels."  
  
"No, thank you." Aya told him curtly. Yohji caught the glance Aya cast over at the large window and finally noticed the book Aya held in one hand.  
  
"Oh, you wanted to read? I can turn the TV off if you like. That way it won't bother you."  
  
Aya shook his head in the negative and turned to leave, lips pressed together in a tight line, the knuckles of the hand holding the book white as he clutched at it.  
  
"Wait, Aya, where are you going? You, ah," ::Think, Yohji, think.:: "Hey, you want some tea? Aya?" Seeing him getting away Yohji quickly vaulted over the couch and went after him. He caught at Aya's shoulder and Aya whirled around, knocking his hand off.  
  
"Stop hounding me! What do you want? Leave me alone!"  
  
"I don't want anything. I just want to know what I've done. Why are you being so meant to me lately? What did I do?"  
  
"What did you do?" outraged, Aya glared, the anger so thick around him it was nearly physical.  
  
"Yes," Yohji, exasperated, asked, "what did I do to make you so angry?"  
  
Aya, incredulous, glared harder, violet eyes drilling into verdant, his knuckles going white from their grip on the book which was the only thing preventing him from striking the other man. Yohji just stared back, hurt and angry at Aya's unexplained, and he felt, unprovoked, attitude. Aya's glare slowly shifted to a frown, he stared into Yohji's face, dark eyes drilling into his as if searching for something. Whatever it was he seemed not to find it. Aya looked away, his frown turning puzzled and the anger which had been so palpable in the room but a moment before seemed to lighten, to almost dissipate. The tense shoulders slumped as he seemed to loose himself in thought. Aya looked up and gave Yohji another questioning glance. "You don't... you really don't remember, do you?"  
  
"Remember what?" Yohji asked exasperated. Aya continued to search his face then, as if he had reached some decision, his whole body just... untensed. For the first time in several days Aya's stiff stance relaxed.  
  
"Nothing. Nothing." Aya gave him what could be qualified as a smile if one were being generous or a smirk if one were not. Aya slowly brushed past him, their bodies almost touching. With a start that caused him unexpectedly to tense, Yohji realized that this was the closest contact they had had with each other in days, almost as if Aya had been avoiding not just his presence, but also his touch. He fought down the sudden urge to grab at Aya, to touch him just to prove to himself that Aya would no longer tense and pull away. As Yohji frowned, puzzled at his own reaction, he was almost sure he heard a soft laugh as Aya moved away from him but Aya, laughing? Masaka.  
  
  
  
tbc 


	2. To Touch

1 Memories Forgotten  
  
2 Part 2: To Touch  
  
Yohji grabbed his special shampoo out of his drawer before heading over to the bathroom. It was several days since his confrontation with Aya. Things seemed to have gone back to normal, Aya reverting to his old self, still glaring when anyone proved brave enough to annoy him but no longer flying off the handle for no apparent reason. Yohji had been even more bewildered than ever but both Omi and Ken had just congratulated him for making up with Aya. In a bid to save his sanity, Yohji had finally decided to forget it, to move on, figuring that whatever strange mood Aya had been in he'd obviously gotten over it.  
  
Smiling, thinking of the date he had set up for tonight he threw the bathroom door open and stepped inside, then stopped. His arms above him as he pulled his long sleeved sweater off, his red hair in disarray after escaping the confines of the sweater's neck, stood Aya, his back to the door and Yohji. Yohji looked at the pale arms still held above Aya's head and frowned, seeing the odd marks on both arms, several long lines on each that looked like just barely healed cuts or scratches.  
  
"What happened to you?"  
  
Aya whirled, startled, and Yohji stared. Starting at Aya's throat and going down all the way across his chest to disappear under the edge of his jeans were a series of dark, round, bruise like marks: love bites.  
  
"Man, who'd *you* sleep with? Dracula?"  
  
"None of your business!" Aya reached for a shirt and quickly slipped it on, hiding his arms. The pale chest framed by the shirt, combined with the marks on the arms made Yohji gasp in realization.  
  
"Shit, it was you!"  
  
Aya's head snapped up, violet eyes wide.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Yohji didn't listen instead he reached forward and snatched the shirt off one shoulder. Dazed, horror evident in green eyes, he placed one finger slowly along one of the cuts.  
  
"I. I did this didn't I? These cuts... were caused by my wire."  
  
Aya pulled away, snatching the shirt closed. "I don't know what -"  
  
"Bullshit. That night, a few days ago, when I came home drunk off my ass... I did something to you didn't I? I thought maybe I'd dreamed." Verdant eyes suddenly widened. "Shit. Aya. Did I. Aya, did I rape -"  
  
Aya shoved Yohji, hard, and rushed past him, down the hallway, not caring that he was leaving all his things strewn about the bathroom. He snatched the door to his own room open and was about to slam it shut behind him only to find Yohji standing in his way, arms holding the door open. Aya's eyes narrowed.  
  
"Go. Away."  
  
"I did, didn't I? And all this time I've been going on about. the wildcat I'd slept with, the marks of passion she'd left on my body. Shit. The marks of passion she'd left down my back. That was you. You were probably trying to get away from me, trying to pull me off and I thought. but you didn't say anything and these marks, I must have -Aya, I'm sorry. I didn't."  
  
Aya punched him and Yohji staggered back, stumbling against the wall of the hallway.  
  
Aya slammed the door shut, bolting it and leaning against it, body trembling slightly. The door suddenly shook and he jumped, hearing Yohji calling to him, demanding he open the door.  
  
::Damn it:: He stepped away from the door and across his room. ::Damn it all!::  
  
When he'd realized that Yohji didn't remember, had obviously forgotten what had transpired on that night he had felt an unexpected weight lift from him. He had been able to relax again, to not tense each time the taller man came near him.  
  
But now, Yohji remembered. Yohji remembered... but it was all wrong. ::Rape?:: He thought angrily. ::How could it be rape when he had had him begging for it, straining up to meet him? How could it be rape when I had been clutching at him, trying to draw him in deeper?::  
  
::Baka yaro! Damn you, Yohji, why couldn't you just have kept on not remembering. Why when I....... I remember it all too well.::  
  
The door shook again as Yohji pounded on it, his voice rising as he called to Aya to open the door, to talk to him.  
  
::I need to get out of here.::  
  
Since Yohji was still at his front door he took the only exit he could: the window. He jumped down to street level and just started walking, not caring where he went so long as it was away. Away from the Koneko and Yohji. He walked for what must have been hours, mind whirling, emotions clashing within him and threatening to explode. When he finally looked up he found himself standing outside of a closed, white door. On the door there was a small plaque, a name in neat kanji written upon it: Fujimiya Aya. ::Fujimiya Aya. Aya.:: Slowly, he pushed the door open. Immediately his nose was assaulted by the combined scents of flowers and medicines, his ears by the insistent beeping of machines.  
  
"Konbanwa, imouto-chan. Daijoubo desu ka?"  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
::What have I done? What have I done?::  
  
"Aya, open this door. Aya! Do you hear me? We need to talk. Aya! Open up."  
  
Yohji paced back and forth in the small hallway that spanned the distance between their rooms, hands tugging at his hair nervously as he waited impatiently for the door to open. But it didn't. It remained locked and silent. He prepared to knock on it again, to yell at it again, to demand that it be opened.  
  
"Yohji-kun, is something wrong?" The soft, concerned voice startled him. He whirled to face Omi.  
  
::Wrong?:: he thought, an insane urge to laugh gripping him. ::Oh no, not at all. I just happen to have raped the most psychotic and unstable of our teammates. Nothing's wrong.::  
  
"Something I can help with?"  
  
"Iie, Omi." He tried to smile at the boy and failed miserably. "This is just something between me and Aya."  
  
Omi frowned at him cutely, large blue eyes concerned as he looked from him to the closed door. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Hai, Omi. Don't worry. I'll fix it." ::If I can.::  
  
"Okay. If you need any help just let me know, okay?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
Reluctantly Omi left. Yohji turned and glowered at the door. It was still closed, no sound coming from within. Deciding that it would not open on its own he looked around, making sure Omi had left and there was no one else around. Quickly, before he could change his mind, he picked the lock.  
  
::Damn you, Aya, for making me do this.:: Slowly he pushed the door open, expecting a katana blade straight to the head at any moment but... the room was empty. "Damn you, Aya!" he exploded, wanting desperately to hit something, anything. He looked around the room and spotted the open window, the curtains moving faintly in the evening wind. His shoulders slumped. ::Aya.:: "I'm sorry," he whispered to the room before turning again, leaving the silent room to its emptiness, making sure to relock the door as he closed it behind him.  
  
  
  
Outside a light mist had begun to fall. Yohji stared out his window into it not seeing it. Night had long since fallen but he had been unable to sleep. The marks he had seen on Aya's arm kept running through his mind. Though he tried and tried he couldn't remember what had happened that night and, yet, still, he could imagine it well enough. He could imagine the pale arms coated in red as his wire bit into the skin. The violet eyes glaring daggers as they looked up at him, closing in pain as he must have forced his way in. The cool mask Aya habitually wore broken with a cry of sudden pain. His own hands and mouth moving over unwilling flesh.  
  
"What sort of monster does that to a friend?"  
  
Running across his mind's eye he remembered the slow way Aya had moved that day in the shop, arms held close to his body as if he were afraid of any accidental jaring. ::Aya:: He remembered his own laughter as he teased Omi and Ken about the wildcat he had captured the night before. ::Shit, Aya must have though I mocked him.:: He remembered the day they were both alone in the shop, Aya's shying away from him, his flinching from his touch and even Omi's when the young boy had accidentally grabbed his arm to get his attention.  
  
::Aya. How badly did I hurt you? What exactly did I do? Why didn't you say anything? All this time and you never said anything. What have I done?::  
  
Outside the night grew darker to match his mood as the rain came down harder. ::Aya.::  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Dawn was just beginning to claim the horizon when there came a knock at his door. He forced his eyes away from the lightening sky and over to his door. The knock came again and then the door was being pushed open.  
  
"Yohji, you up?" Ken asked as he poked his head into the darkened room.  
  
He had not slept at all that night, wracking his mind, trying to remember something, anything of what transpired that night. He had had no luck. The only things he had seen were the images his own mind had created to torture him, agonizingly vivid behind his heavy lids, but nothing he could truly call a memory. He shook his head to clear it of the thoughts and images. Ken spoke up again.  
  
"We have a mission. Manx is here."  
  
"Have you seen Aya?"  
  
Ken gave him an odd look. "He' already downstairs, waiting with Omi. Come on." Yohji quickly got up and followed him. There, looking as if he had just walked in, rain clinging to his hair and clothes, stood Aya. Ignoring Manx and the others he moved over to stand next to him mouth opened as if he would speak but stopped, uncertain. He felt Aya tense but that was all the acknowledgement he was granted. Aya kept staring forward, eyes locked on Manx, his lips pressed into a thin line and eyes narrowed.  
  
"Aya," he began, then paused, unsure of what he should say, what he *could* say. What does one tell a friend after such a betrayal? Is there anything? The word sorry seemed so inadequate. It was not enough. It would never be enough.  
  
Aya kept hi gaze trained forward, on something other than him, the only acknowlegement of Yohji's presence the further tensing of the already stiff body.  
  
"Balinese, I'm glad you've finally decided to join us. If you'll please take a seat?" Manx asked with a raised eyebrow. Yohji started, suddenly cognizant that there were others around. Quickly, Yohji took a seat where he could still watch Aya. Aya took his customary position: arms crossed across his chest and leaning against the wall.  
  
As Manx spoke, outlining their mission, Yohji didn't listen; all he could do was stare at that pale face and the customary cold mask. Had he not seen the marks on Aya's arms and suddenly remembered something of what had happened that night he would have no way of knowing anything was wrong. Aya was his usual self, not acknowledging Yohji's stare even though he must have been aware of the concerned weight of it. When Aya nodded his acceptance of the mission Yohji quickly added his own assent even though he had no idea what the mission was about.  
  
Manx nodded in satisfaction and handed Omi the folder with all the pertinent information then left to allow them to plan.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Okay guys, here's the plan. This isn't going to be hard just be a lot of work. Ken will be with me. Aya will go in the front. Yohji -"  
  
"I'm with Aya."  
  
Omi blinked at the interruption, large blue eyes startled. Yohji blushed but held firm. "I'm with Aya."  
  
Aya shifted against the wall, eyes narrowed. "No."  
  
Yohji turned to look at him green eyes begging. "Aya..."  
  
Omi didn't know what was going on but he decided he better step in before Yohji and Aya started in on one of their frequent arguments.  
  
"Actually, Yohji, that is what I had in mind. The front entrance is going to be well guarded but it's our best chance of catching all the targets in one place."  
  
"Why can't Ken?" Aya questioned.  
  
"Gomen, Aya-kun, but from these guys' profiles we know that they are quick to run. If that happens I'll be sitting right on top of the only bolthole. When they come they'll come with lots of guards. In such close quarters Ken's weapon is more effective than Yohji's wire or your katana. Is... is something wrong with this plan?"  
  
"Nothing," Aya said coldly, hands clenched. Omi turned his head to Yohji who was still staring at Aya, a hurt look on his face. Omi frowned in confusion.  
  
"Yohji-kun?"  
  
"The plan is fine, Omittchi. I'll be there." He turned to give Omi a reassuring smile. When he turned back to face Aya he found the stoic red head gone. He heard the quiet steps heading up the ladder and cursed. Standing he quickly hurried after the other man.  
  
"Aya! Wait up. Aya." Yohji made it up the stairs only to see Aya's door close and hear the lock hit home. "Shit." He stood there, undecided for several minutes, pondering his chances of getting Aya to actually open the door and speak to him. Deciding his chances were next to nil he went to go get ready for tonight. He would have to have at least a few minutes alone with the redhead, he would speak with him then.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Where's Aya?" Yohji looked around as he checked the release mechanism of his wire one last time. Ken shrugged and Omi answered him. "He said he would meet us there."  
  
"What? Where did he go?"  
  
Omi shrugged. "He wouldn't say. Only that he would meet us there."  
  
"That bastard." Yohji angrily stomped his way down the stairs.  
  
"Hey, wait for us." Ken and Omi quickly ran after him, barely having a chance to jump into the car before the Super Seven was flying, tearing out of the garage, its tires screeching.  
  
"Hey, slow down. What are you trying to do? Kill us?" Ken yelled grabbing desperately for the seat belt.  
  
Yohji didn't respond but he did slow down, a bit, green eyes flashing as he stared straight ahead. In record time they were at the target site. They got out of the car and Yohji prepared to move off to his and Aya's designated position when Omi stopped him.  
  
"Yohji-kun, is something wrong? For the past couple of days..." Omi looked up at him with wide eyes, his small hands twisting before him. Yohji forced a smile to reassure him and reached out to ruffle his hair.  
  
"I'm okay, Omi. Don't worry about me, okay? Now, go on. You two need to be in position before me and Aya break in the front door."  
  
"But he's not here yet," Ken pointed out, anger evident in his tone.  
  
"It's still early. If Aya-kun said he'd be here then he will. Right?" Omi glanced worriedly between the two.  
  
"Right, Omittchi. Now, you two go. Be ready and be careful, okay?"  
  
Omi nodded and left. Ken hesitated, giving Yohji one last, annoyed glance before following the younger boy. Yohji sighed and looked around, again, for their leader.  
  
"Damn it, Aya. You're doing this deliberately. I know it."  
  
The time for the mission drew closer and closer but still there was no sign of the leader of Weiss. Ken angrily proposed that they postpone the mission but Omi quietly informed them that this was their one sure chance of getting all their targets in one place. Yohji commanded that the mission be carried out.  
  
The time arrived and still no Aya. The mission began with Omi worrying over their missing member and Ken cursing at him. It was not until Yohji had already kicked down the front door, his wire flying out to capture the first of his targets that he felt the presence of a katana wielding shadow behind him, fighting right there beside him. So startled was he that Yohji almost let one man get past his guard, the dagger meant for his heart evaded by the smallest of margins. ::Shit. Concentrate Kudou, you can chew the guy out later.::  
  
But Yohji couldn't concentrate, his mind and eyes straying time and time again to the pale form that was quickly and efficiently dealing death to any that dared to stand before him. So distracted was he that several times the only thing that kept him from getting himself killed were his quick reflexes and a desperate evasion.  
  
As he moved across the room he stuck close to Aya, an eye always trained on him, cataloging watched his movements, searching for any hesitancy that might speak of pain, of any of the damage he must surely have caused him. Aya ignored him, weaving in and out of the path of his wire without even looking at him, his katana striking out at the targets. Yohji couldn't keep his eyes from widening when he saw the man who was to be Aya's next opponent. The guy was huge, perhaps a foot taller than the redhead and surely weighing twice as much. Aya, none-the-less, raised his sword, violet eyes narrowed as he faced the new opponent.  
  
:Aya, you idiot.:: Yohji rushed forward, intent on saving Aya from the brute before him, wire already arcing across the room when he suddenly saw Aya raise his katana right; into the path of his own weapon. He tried to pull it back but too late, the wire and katana tangled together, throwing both weapons off. The large man grinned at their predicament and crashed a large fist down on Aya's unprotected face. Yohji cried out and began to run towards them only to stumble in pain. He turned to see the man who had taken advantage of his distraction drawing his arm back, the blood on his silver blade glistening as he pulled it from Yohji's side. Anger and panic for Aya rising in him Yohji kicked at the man, sending him flying back to slam against the wall. The man slid down the wall, the blade slipping from limp fingers as he slowly slumped down unconscious. Yohji ignored him and turned back to Aya. He was in time to watch Aya raise the gleaming blade high above his head and bring it down on the other, nearly splitting the man in half as the blade cut deep. The man obviously dead Aya turned to face Yohji, violet eyes glaring. Yohji winced as he noticed that the left side of Aya's face was already beginning to darken and swell in a bruise. With a disgusted look Aya turned away from him, katana once more raised before him as he searched for a new target.  
  
What seemed like several hours later but in reality was only about one found them all gathered in front of the building once more, all within dead. Ken and Omi were the last out being the furthest in. As they came up to them Omi cast a concerned look over their injuries.  
  
"Yohji-kun, Aya-kun. Are you two okay?" Omi asked worriedly.  
  
"We're fine, Omi." Yohji answered him wishing they had taken a few minutes longer in joining them so he could have had a chance to speak with Aya alone.  
  
"You're bleeding," Ken pointed out and reached out to examine his wound.  
  
"It's only a scratch," Yohji said evading his hand. "Come on, we have to get out of here before the cops show."  
  
Aya, having confirmed that they were all out and safe, began to move off to his own car.  
  
"Aya, wait, where are you going?" Aya ignored him and continued walking, pale form disappearing within the shadows of the growing night. Yohji cursed, undecided as to whether he should chase after him or not. Making up his mind he tossed his keys to Ken and raced after Aya, limping slightly as he clutched at his wounded side. He saw Aya already climbing into his own car and made a mad dash towards the passenger side. Aya glared at him but waited until he was seated before taking off. Yohji gulped and quickly pulled on his seatbelt as the building was soon left behind  
  
For the first part of the ride there was nothing but silence, Yohji not knowing what to say and Aya not seemingly inclined to speak. Yohji wanted desperately to know what had happened that night but would the red head tell him, would he accept an apology or would he rather take Yohji's head in payment? Why hadn't he said anything? What exactly had happened?  
  
"Aya," he began hesitantly only to be cut off by Aya's harsh voice.  
  
"What the hell was that back there?"  
  
Yohji frowned, confused. Aya growled and took a corner rather sharply, causing Yohji to clutch the passenger door tightly.  
  
"What where you trying to do? Get me killed? Get yourself killed?"  
  
::Ahh, he meant back at the building.::  
  
"I was worried."  
  
"Worried?" The harsh, disbelieving tone was accompanied by yet another sharp turn and another desperate grab at the car door. Yohji checked to make sure he had locked it and relaxed only marginally when he realized that he had.  
  
"Aya, slow down. Please." Aya ignored him. Yohji gulped and wondered if Aya meant to take his revenge this way, either by crashing them or giving him a heart attack. "Aya, please. We need to talk."  
  
"There is nothing to talk about."  
  
"That's bullshit and you know it." He said, his anger suddenly rising. "I want to know exactly what happened that night. That night when I... raped..."  
  
"You did not rape me!" A car swerved, barely missing them as Aya ran a red light.  
  
"Aya, I don't remember any of what happened that night. Not really. I know I was drunk and I remember sleeping with someone but I assumed... I'm sorry. Please tell me what to do."  
  
"Nothing. You do nothing. Nothing happened."  
  
Aya pulled up in front of the Koneko no Sumu Ie and jumped out almost before the car had completely stopped.  
  
"Aya, wait! Aya! Please." Yohji jumped out of the car and headed after him. "What did I -? What can I -? Why didn't you say anything? Aya. Aya?" But he was speaking to empty air. Aya had once again barricaded himself within the sanctuary of his own room, leaving Yohji panting and in more pain than his wound could account for. ::Aya. What have I done? I raped you. I know I must have. Why else would you be wearing the marks of my wire? What else did I do to you, Aya? How badly did I hurt you? Aya.::  
  
"Damn it, Aya. Aya, I'm sorry." He had almost made up his mind to force his way into Aya's room when he heard the sound of his own car pulling into the garage. A few minutes later Omi and Ken were making their way up the stairs to him. Yohji glared at the door then stopped. ::What right really do I have to be angry with Aya? I was the one who... I... Aya, I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry. I don't even know what to say. I never in a million years believed I was capable of doing something like that. And now I don't even remember. How badly did I hurt you? Are you okay? Gods, what a question. Rather, are you going to be okay?::  
  
"Yohji, what are you doing just standing there? You're bleeding all over the carpet!"  
  
"Yohji-kun, why haven't you bandaged that yet? Here, come into the bathroom with me and I'll take care of it."  
  
"No, it's alright, Omi." ::I don't deserve your concern.:: "It's just a scratch. I can clean it and bandage it myself. Don't worry."  
  
"A scratch?" Omi stared at the large amount of blood soaking Yohji's side with disbelief. "That doesn't look like just a scratch."  
  
"Omi, please. Just leave it be. Okay?" Slowly, trying not to show just how much pain he was in, Yohji made his way to his own room. Ken and Omi were left staring after him dumbfounded.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Yohji had been sitting there, staring out at nothing for what must have been hours when he heard his door open. Sighing heavily, expecting either Omi or Ken he turned to face the door. The long shadow there shifted as if waiting for something, then, as if making up its mind moved closer, clicking the light on as he stepped inside.  
  
"You wouldn't let Ken or Omi so I came to check on your wound."  
  
Yohji blinked, and then blinked again before it finally registered.  
  
"You - you came to check on *my* wound? What about you? I -"  
  
"We will not speak of that." Aya bent down to peer at Yohji's side, his face impassive as fingers came out to inspect the crudely wrapped wound.  
  
"But, Aya!"  
  
"Damn it, Yohji!" Aya pulled away. "Nothing happened."  
  
"Something did happen. I know it did."  
  
"Fine. If you won't shut up then I'll leave." Aya turned as if he would do just that.  
  
"No, wait. Look, I'll shut up. Okay? Just don't go. Just, tell me... you're okay. Or at least that you will be."  
  
Aya glared at him for several minutes. Then he bent down and quickly took the clumsy bandage Yohji had wrapped around himself off. Quietly, efficiently, he inspected and cleaned the wound before wrapping a new bandage around it. He put the first aid supplies back into the side drawer where Yohji kept them and stood as if to leave. Yohji stared after him sadly, hope of any answer lost. At the threshold Aya paused. Without looking at Yohji, eyes facing into the darkened hallway he spoke slowly, softly.  
  
"I'm *fine.*"  
  
Then he closed the door.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~  
  
~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
The first thing that greeted Yohji the next morning as he stepped out of his door was the sound of Ken's voice raised in anger. He was yelling at Aya for leaving Yohji in the hallway alone bleeding. Aya just stood there, silent, violet eyes flashing but face impassive as he listened to Ken rage at him. Yohji, walking down the stairs slowly due to his injury noticed and stopped to listen. Realizing *why* Ken was yelling at Aya he rushed down the rest of the stairs, jarring his injured side, and moved to stand protectively in front of Aya.  
  
"Don't yell at Aya!" He growled at Ken.  
  
Aya pulled Yohji roughly around to yell up at him. "Don't defend me!"  
  
"He shouldn't butt in when he doesn't know the facts."  
  
"Neither do you!"  
  
"Then, for the gods's sakes, tell me."  
  
Aya glared up at him then abruptly turned away.  
  
"Aya, please."  
  
Aya didn't even pause as he stalked away. Yohji prepared to go after him but Ken stopped him by grabbing his arm.  
  
"What the hell is going on between you two?" Yohji whirled around to face him, green eyes flashing.  
  
"None of your damn business so just butt out!" Yohji stomped away.  
  
"You know," Ken said thoughtfully to no one, "if I didn't know better I'd say those two were in the middle of a lover's quarrel... nah."  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
::I raped Aya. I raped Aya. I. Raped. Aya.:: Yohji was ready to tear his hair out. Ken and Omi were getting angry and more concerned each day and Aya refused to speak to him. ::Agh!:: Well, he would force Aya to talk to him. He had knocked on Aya's door and when he had received no answer had broken in again once more to face an empty room. But this time he didn't leave, the room's silence made him even more angry and determined to talk to the redhead. Relocking the door so Aya would not suspect he had taken a seat upon the bed and prepared to wait no matter how long it took. That had been hours ago. It was nearly midnight and Aya had yet to return.  
  
::Damn it, Aya. Where are you? We need to talk. I... I... God, what am I going to say? Maybe this isn't such a good idea. Maybe I should leave before he gets back. Maybe I... but I can't leave this like this. I... I...::  
  
"What are you doing here?" Icy question in an even icier tone as Aya walked into his room. Yohji jumped, startled, he had been so lost in his own tumultuous thoughts that he hadn't even heard the door opening.  
  
"We need to talk and this time I'm not leaving until we do, Aya."  
  
"We have nothing to talk about. Get out of my room."  
  
"Bullshit, Aya. Look, maybe you're in denial. Maybe you're trying to force yourself to believe that nothing happened but you can't. Trying to block something that horrible only leads to tragedy. You need to talk to someone and I know you, you probably haven't even seen a doctor. I probably hurt you badly and you probably haven't even spoken to anyone about it. Aya, you need to talk. If not to me then with someone else. Please don't keep this all bottled up inside. I'm sorry for what I did. Gods, but you don't know how sorry. Please let me make it up to you. Tell me what to do. Anything, I'll do it. Just please forgive me, please... Aya."  
  
"Damn it, Yohji, it wasn't rape!"  
  
"Then what about your arms? You were obviously trying to get away, to get free -"  
  
"I wanted to touch you!" The sudden outburst caught Yohji off guard and left him staring at Aya.  
  
"What?"  
  
Aya pressed a fist to his forehead, body trembling slightly as he fought to keep himself from killing the blonde. "Damn you to the seventh hell, Yohji."  
  
Straightening he looked back up at the other man. With a voice strained from the calm forced on it he spoke again. "You didn't hurt me. You didn't rape me."  
  
"But your arms! Some of those cuts are pretty deep."  
  
"I was struggling against the wire because I wanted to touch you. You wouldn't let me -"  
  
Verdant eyes narrowed and Yohji cut him off, voice disbelieving. "And why did I place the wires on you in the first place? Huh, Aya? Answer me that."  
  
Aya took a deep breath, eyes closed as he leaned back against the wall for support. He crossed his arms before him, closing himself off, distancing himself.  
  
"I *was* fighting you... at first. You were drunk and being your usually idiotic, drunken self. I had fallen asleep on the couch. You were obviously too drunk to make it up the stairs so I guess you decided to crash on the couch. You came in and jumped on me. I tried to push you off. Then you started to... I began to fight you. You tied me up and then... I wasn't anymore. I was fighting to get closer. The end. Satisfied?"  
  
Aya pushed off the wall and made as if to leave the room. Yohji caught at his arm, mouth open to speak. Aya evaded his touch, violet eyes narrowing.  
  
"Don't touch me."  
  
'I wanted'  
  
"Aya... I had no idea."  
  
Aya glared at him. "It not what you're thinking. Even drunk as you were you were still..." Aya closed his eyes as if the next few words pained him. "you are a very skilled lover. I've never..." Aya straightened. "Look. It's over. It happened. Leave it be."  
  
"But Aya -"  
  
"No. This conversation is over. We will not speak of it again." Aya turned again to leave. Yohji reached out once more.  
  
"Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me again."  
  
One last glare at Yohji and he was gone, long form disappearing through the door. Leaving Yohji alone to stare after him, hand still outstretched.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
___________  
  
ShadowMist  
  
Date finished: 11/18/01  
  
  
  
I used a bit of the Victorian flower language in this fic but since I am not fluent in it I apologize if I made any mistakes.  
  
1. whin = anger  
  
belladonna = silence  
  
burdock = touch me not  
  
2. rose, white = silence  
  
3. columbine, red = anxious and trembling  
  
syringa = memory  
  
4. love-in-a-mist = perplexity  
  
  
  
Oh, and this was totally unintentional, but flipping through my book I found out that lavender stands for distrust. It suits Aya somehow, ne?  
  
This fic is a sequel to One Drunken Night which can be found at ff.net, at Koji Nanjo's site and at Max Ikari's Red Orchids. Max and Koji, if you two want this thing you are welcome to it just let me know you want it. Nobody else, please. Thanks.  
  
  
  
All c&c welcome and eagerly encouraged! Please give me feedback!!  
  
ShadowMist 


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